Don’t Be “Good”, Just Be “Honest”.
All my life I have struggled to be a “good” boy. I was told, “if you do this, you will become a good boy”. “Don’t do this, you won’t become a good boy”.It made me scared to express anything. It made me quiet my expression verbally. That labeled me as an “introvert”. I was told to do this but not that. I was told not to do this but to do that. It was almost confusing and I felt pressured by the word “Good” itself. I hated being a good boy. You see, there is a difference between a “Good” for yourself and “Good” for others. I hated being a pretentious “Good” boy, I’d rather be an honest me.
Why is it “good” to be selfless? because it’s an ideal characteristic? Heck no. I say you must be selfish, so selfish that you take care of yourself. You take care of your family and the people you know. You must be selfish enough to make yourself so strong and capable that you are able to take care of others, nurturing that “self” every moment. Being selfish isn’t “Bad”, it’s “Honest”.
Why does speaking against the “norm” makes you “bad”?
You see in my journey to understand myself, I found I was going against the normal perception of life. We are all expected to get a “degree”, get a job, marry, get a house, settle, have kids, plan for retirement and live a happy life. But life could be so much more than this routine. It can be so fascinating to see yourself change every day, fail every day, forgive yourself every day and get back up every day. It’s so much adventurous and alive. Even though I sound-wise, to be honest, I have doubts sometimes. I think about, “Am I doing the right thing? should I fall on security and go after FUN LIFE ?”. I have doubts, but from the inside I am happy. I am happy that I am doing this. I am happy. You see, taking this step made me go against the “norm” and I was no longer a “Good” boy. I was a “Bad” boy. But I know, I am honest with my self, and that makes me happy even though I do not have the rich “stuff”, I have a rich “smile”. I think happiness should be our North star and I keep reminding my self, “Be honest, and take care”.
What is the problem with “Good”?
Because it is relative, cause you can only define it with comparison, just like success. Compared to what or compared to whom? With whom are you comparing yourself to call yourself “Good”? to the person who stole from a grocery shop? You don’t know their context. Maybe he stole it to feed his pregnant wife, maybe he stole cause he hasn’t had anything for 3 days, who know? Who are we to call ourselves superior and disregard others, or call others inferior and disrespect our selves? I think this game is all jacked up and if we do not bring our attention to these fundamental talks, we will be in a big mess in our lives. I am not a Good boy anymore, I am simply honest.
What is the problem with “labels”?
Because it’s made up, like your personality. I observe every now and then, during the class lectures. Students interact with the professor and it’s fascinating to see this interaction. The professor has their identity to be an instructor and their job of explaining the topic. Some students think they are “smart”, some think they are well not so smart. I look at this drama and then look at myself, “Am I carrying any labels in my head?”. I understand I am just observing at the question. Do I know how to solve it? Let me try, nope I don’t get it, I need help. let me look at examples, let me look at notes, hmm let me try this, hmm let me try that. hmm still nope? hmm, let me ask my friend. let me ask the professor now. hmm, that was easy. When I look at my whole process, I do this every time. Be it business, be it dance, be it cooking, be it talking with you even. I do this every time. I observe fortunately I do not have any labels when I am in this zone. But I sometimes do carry labels, to be honest. Hey, I am a human with flaws, don’t judge me : ). Now the million-dollar question, “What is your Label ?”
Thank you so much for staying with me till the end. Your attention means like a bag full of diamonds to me. Thank you so much. If my perception can give you bigger, brighter and more inspiring one, I have done what I came here to do. But If I can learn from you, I will gladly listen to you. “We have this life to learn and when we stop learning, we stop living.” — Manoj Pun. Well, this is the best one I’ve got. I wish you find what you are yearning for. Until next time Lots of love, Chao.
