Financial compatibility.
“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.”-Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
One could clearly picture a person’s life by simply studying his/her bank statement. And no I don’t mean just how much amount. I mean how the money comes, where the money goes, and how much it stays.
In no manner or form am I suggesting you correct yourself. Simply observe your bank statement and give an honest opinion about the person.
We benefit by not trying to hit the home run at every swing, but by not quitting the game. By staying in the game for a very long period of time.
Market timing and individual stock picking seem exciting but does it really make you wealthy? I mean with tax and exchange fees? Really? What is the target of your investment? What is the time horizon? Do you know yourself well enough? One should ask questions like these before jumping on the investment wagon.
I love talking about money and ways to generate it. It is one of the fascinating topics I discuss. The discussion about a specific asset class or a business revenue model turns me on. It has propelled me to consume books about money and business. I know who I am, I know where I want to go and I know how to get there. Do you?
You should benefit by knowing investment is not just about money management but more about behavior, psychology, and to some extent philosophy. Especially Risk mitigation and asymmetricity.
I can talk with you about different assets classes, strategies, types of funds, Debt to GDP ratio, NFT’s or SDR’s. But it will probably take me hours to explain them and you will probably be perplexed by what I just explained. This article is about financial compatibility, Compatibility with the people.
I am talking about your partner. Your business partner or a life partner. It’s equally challenging to find them.
In the business domain, Naval Ravikant shares an important heuristic, “Pick business partners with high intelligence, energy, and, above all, integrity.”
But Manoj what about life partners?
In both instances, there is a music and a dance. Unless both of the participants know how to dance and their respective roles in the dance, it is likely to be a struggle. I cannot suddenly abandon my role and expect the other to cover up. Neither should the other expect that from me.
It sounds cliche but one has to know the kind of person he/she is. And that is the first and only step. We assume ourselves to be generally a nice person but how much of it is because of your intrinsic niceness and not because of the eyes around you?
In the divorce counsel, the psychologists share a similar pattern in many conversations.
Psychologist(To the woman): What do you want?
Woman: I want this, this , that and that. I don’t want him to do this, this, that and that.
Psychologist(To the Man): What do you want?
Man: I just want her to be happy.
In this instance, the problem is not that the woman is demanding. The problem is the man does not know what he wants. He does not know himself well enough to know what he really wants.
Now, this does not mean the man has to start nagging about what he wants. But come into a conversation level where he can prioritize what he wants and be able to clearly explain it to the partner.
Dr. David Maloney shares an excellent insight, “No one has to sacrifice for someone else.”
Now, what does it has to do with financial compatibility?
Nothing and everything.
Nothing because it is not just about money and everything because it is also about money.
I leave you with a tip. Spend less, Eliminate consumer debt and save 6 months of living expenses. What you do after that is your business.
