For who? : A reference to understand what is good and what is bad.

“What one thinks is right is not always the same as what others think is right; no one can be always right.” ― Roy T. Bennett

I am always fascinated to watch dramas performed by every individual in everyday life. There is always a difference between the action, the intent of the action and how the action is been interpreted. If and only if I could figure out this difference, I could unlock fascinating dimensions of human behavior.

For who? is an attempt to try and understand the eternal moral play of what is good and what is bad.

What is good? and what is bad? There has to be a point of reference to answer this question. But by default, the original interpretation we assume is what is good for me? and what is bad for me? If we could clarify what is good or bad and for whom? I think it would simplify the intention of the question.

For example, you are a mother and your daughter comes home after a party at 3:00 am in the morning, without any notification. Now, as a mother you are naturally worried if your daughter got into trouble, it worries you. We can try and understand. At the same time, it creates a wave of anger within you. The anger tries to address the rebellious nature of your daughter and address the strictness that you “think” will yield your daughter to be under your control. But the reality is your daughter has a different point of view.

Your daughter is a teen, at this age people tend to be very sensitive to the environment. They are trying to figure their status in their social circle. They are in the process of understanding and experimenting. Yes, there are accounts of the fact that she might get into deep deep trouble, and you love your child so much that you don’t want her to suffer. Yes, that's so true and lovely, but it's for “you”, it’s for who you call “my”, my daughter, not for the girl in front of you. If we are a parent we need to understand, that girl who came from your body is a different human being. She has every right to discover, express, observe and understand this world as much as any other human being. We need to respect that.

Now, I try to downplay parental love so we can see the individuality of a woman (mother)and a girl(daughter). They are a completely different human being. They grew up in a different time, place and environment. They have a different feed of information. It means they have different aspiration. This makes them different. Yes, we love each other and we want good things to happen. But not at a price of stripping away their individuality.

Parents and Children, we need to understand and listen to each other. It takes work, effort, time and patience to build that space where we can have these conversations.

Let’s move to the title statement for this piece of writing. For who? for who is this good? and for who is this bad?

A lion chases an impala. Lion catches the impala. Lion punctures the throat of the impala and kills it. The lion starts eating the impala. This is good for the “lion”, it’s acting to keep it alive. This is bad for the “impala”. It just lost its life. Now you are equipped to answer this question. Is killing good or bad? I think now, you will answer it with a very fascinating question.

One last word,

“How wonderful it would be if people did all they could for one other without seeking anything in return! One should never remember a kindness done, and never forget a kindness received.” ― Kentetsu Takamori

I want you to understand why I write an article. It’s an attempt to help you, to let you know, we are not so glamorous as we imagine. We are very similar to each other, like a masterpiece in the process. I have been helped in the past so I want to help the future.

Thank you so much for staying with me till the end, your attention means a world to me. I appreciate your humbleness to listen to a stranger like me. I wish you good health and an open mind. Till next time, love you lots Chao.