No, do not be yourself.
“Everybody wants to change others. Nobody wants to be changed.”- Naval Ravikant
Here’s a popular piece of advice given to people, “Just be yourself”.
Let’s look at homer. Homer is a person who does not know how to use his credit card, is fat as fuck, does not have a degree or a job, eats shits, and sleeps late at night. Now, would you say to homer “JUST BE YOURSELF”?
Of course not. You’d advise him to move his ass, work out, get a job, save money, eat healthy food, get rest.
The audience who follows and shares the “JBY” is delusional. They are still living in the Disney fantasy, the Lala land, where people are generous, goodey goodey, and just picture perfect.
I am not sorry to be the one to shatter this outlook.
But don’t sell this crap of JBY to a person like Homer. Homer needs to change, he needs to improve and work on himself. Homer needs to act, he doesn't need a 15 minutes inspirational pep talk about JBY.
Now, When I look at the person giving this advice, it is unsurprisingly a failure or a snake oil salesman. Are you one of them? if so, Stop. You are not adequate to advise anyone not even yourself.
And above all, get some help, “for yourself”.
I do agree.
to a different version. “Be authentic”.
Now wait a minute, you are just polishing words here. Aren’t they the same thing?
I expressed my thoughts in an earlier article with “Be authentic, humorous & powerful…….. but of course in your own way.”
Here the authenticity refers to your acknowledgment of who you are at the present and who you want to become in the future. This is not a kiss-on-the-cheek approach.
If you do not like who you are at the present. That is healthy. It means you acknowledge that you are not in a good position and you need improvement.
The next step is to identify the type of person you admire and want to emulate. Even though I say you to be authentic, I want you to identify the type of person you like.
The thing is it never works out the way you want in life.
In my case, I admire Nassim Nicholas Taleb, Gabriele Goffredo and Naval Ravikant. Does it mean, I have become like them?
No. Things do not work the way you wish them to work. They work the way they are intended to work.
Have role models, because it gives you direction, not the destination.
So what is the key takeaway?
Do not be yourself. There are many aspects in life we need to work at.
I am glad you stayed with me so far without being offended. Kudos.
