One of the things, I learned from my uncle. How to Listen and speak.

My Uncle runs a Pizza Restaurant, he has been in the business for 3 years+. It’s been a wonderful journey and I am grateful to learn how to operate a small business through him. I see that among his peers, my uncle has been the only one to successfully operate a small business. I believe his superhuman work ethics and the ability to communicate gives him the edge. For this article, I want to focus only on communications. I believe my uncle is a master in the art of communication. Although he has never earned a “degree” in it. He has a remarkable understanding of the human conversation. I will now share some of my insight into observing how this person uses communication to make his business and life function for his well-being.

1: Try to Understand first.

One of the most repeated advice I get from my uncle is to first try to understand than to be understood.

Sometimes when I talk with my parents over the phone, I erupt for not being understood. I later realize I should not have reacted in such a way towards my parents. My uncle advised me to first try to understand how your parents are feeling. They are not wishing for my downfall instead, they are wishing me all the success and happiness, which they couldn’t see. First, try to understand their upbringing and the kind of mindset they have. It explains, a whole lot about their perception of reality. You do not need to explain your version of reality, you only need to understand their reality and try to explain your story using their vocabulary. Although, it was a rough trip to bring this change in me. But subtly, It happened. After lots of trial and error, I am starting to divert my parents to a healthy conversation. I am starting to create a safe space in our communication.

2: Understand the person, subject and the situation.

What type of person is he/she? What type of subject matter do we coincide? How do I want this conversation to become? What is the right time to change the topic? These are some very basic questions, which my uncle thinks are the basic preparations. He suggests me to be aware of these questions during a conversation and be sensitive to the ques in a conversation. From a business point of view, I think an individual should maintain a persona of professionalism. But from a personal point of view, I think having these questions make any conversation transit smoothly.

3: Apply things that work for you in your story time.

It’s absolutely amazing to learn from everywhere, anywhere and anytime. Having the curiosity to learn is a wonderful gift, but be wise enough to apply the lessons in your life at the right time. Have you ever felt like inspiring quotes conflicts with each other? one quote might say, take the leap of faith, while another quote might say, don’t jump hastily. One says fake it to make it, others might say be genuine. My uncle says, have the wisdom to find the lesson that works for you in your story timeline. He suggests that, what worked for you before, might not work for you now, and what worked for you now, might not work for you later. Have the awareness to know what works for you. Throw what doesn’t work for you now. You can always recall lessons Right? If you need it.

4: Explain to the point they are willing to listen.

My uncle says, “Everyone thinks he/she is the main character of the story. Let them be so, never disturb their illusion.”. He has a sarcastic way of letting others think they are winning. Manipulation might be a mean way of putting it, but he has his way of making others work for him willingly. He has taught me the power of honest appreciation and applause. He often says, “ nobody should share one’s biggest secret, be selfish enough to protect yours.”. I have come to understand that I can only explain my point of view to the listeners level of understanding. Explain to the point the listener is willing to listen, If the listener is bored, It’s fine. That’s the point to which they are willing to listen. Don’t be mad, just relax. It’s ok to be ignored.

I am truly grateful to have spent time learning how to operate a small business. It sounds small, but the ungodly amount of work you have to put into is ridiculous. I am fortunate enough to have the experience to operate a restaurant. For me, business is an exciting subject, there is so much self-awareness, improvement, realization, and exploration. My uncle has taught me many other lessons that have equipped me to be ready for the coming phases of my life. THANK YOU, MAMA(Uncle).

Notes:

Entrepreneurship is gravely misunderstood. I honestly think I am not an entrepreneur yet. I think I am an executive. I take actions, plan and adapt. Entrepreneurs are these creatures who are can make their vision into a reality, irrespective of the surrounding. Elon Musk puts it beautifully, “Being an entrepreneur is like eating glass and staring into the abyss of death.” I have come to realize the power, responsibility and the work it takes to be an entrepreneur and I am not an entrepreneur.

Thank you so much for staying with me till the end. I hope my perception can help you have a better perception. Let’s learn from each other and make a change in our lives so we can make a change in each other’s life. We all have a limited time in our hand. Love you lots.

Change yourself, then the world will change itself.-Manoj Pun.