When will I grow up?

“Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.” -Chili Davis

Tell me this, Do you find yourself surprised when the “adults” sometimes act like a child? It’s funny, right?

But what if I change the outlook on this question?

What if they are just children acting like adults for the majority of times?

let's look at a child, there is always something you can learn from them. A child represents creativity, energy, honesty, and curiosity. I can vividly tap into my memories since the age of 7. Before that, I was oblivion of myself. My mother was the sole witness of me. Her stories about me mention courage, preferences, stubbornness, integrity, anger, leadership, foolishness, curiosity, dance and much more. Honestly, I cannot imagine me being such a magnanimous character. But it’s interesting when I look at myself change over time. Of course, the innate core nature of myself still remains intact, I believe. No, I know for sure but something has definitely changed. I observe that many inputs from my surroundings invested in molding my personality.

After school and societal influence, I had a complete turnaround. I was no more the character of my stories. I was just someone upgrading classes. But still, some remanence of my self remained within me. It was within myself for all these years, the traits were all dormant and silent trying to find a way of expression. But since my grown-up self stayed on guard, I observed I never expressed my traits. You know the fear of being judged by someone.

But things have changed in these 4 years. I did a lot of self-discovery. I looked within myself I witnessed my courage, authenticity, imagination, inspiration, love, curiosity, and tons and tons of other traits. I also witnessed my insecurities, anger, hatred, anger, laziness, pervertness, dishonesty and tons and tons of other traits.

A child is a state of an individual where the guard of morals and ethics taught by the outside is not in its consciousness.

But being a child doesn’t mean being reckless and weak. Being a child does not mean we act like a child and play with toys all the time.

Being a child means to embrace who you are with confidence and welcome the possibilities with courage. Have that curious outlook towards life.

Now let's look at an adult, there is always something you can learn from them. An adult represents independence, power, and responsibility beyond the individual. I grew up admiring every adult. In my perceptions, an adult represented an enlightened human being who did actions for a larger good, who was inspiring, humorous and loving. But I realized it was a funny imagination, as soon as I started interacting with them. How could they not see this? I remember being disappointed whenever an individual did not meet my ideal standard. Mind you I did not even spare even my mother and father in this regard.

But after high school, things started changing I got full access over the internet where I could meet my ideal personalities. Entrepreneurs, spiritual masters of ages, comedians, cartoonists, historians, philanthropists, inspiring speakers, Dance, philosophers, inventors, writers, what gives? So many possibilities where I could see myself.

I realized something,

An adult means to have the courage, commitment and the freedom to pursue your possibilities.

An adult doesn’t mean you have to put a gloomy face on and start acting mean. No, it rather means you now have the permission to turn your dreams into realities.

So, this is how I have resolved my dilemma of a child and an adult.

If you are were told to grow up by people around you then, congratulation. Just like me and many other individuals, you can see the child within you.

This is my wish & my blessing, may you find who you truly are & express it to the world.

Lots of Love, Chao.



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Manoj Pun Tilija

Manoj Pun Tilija

Among the infinite Wisdom, I am lost. An admirer of knowledge & Virtue, a lover of curiosity. A Part-Time Barbarian. https://www.parttimebarbarian.com