Why absolute honesty is scary?
“No matter what you do, stand up for who you are and be honest.”-Bryant McGill
I am not good enough, I suck at this, I don’t have any passion, I don’t know what to do in life, I am scared, I will never be successful.
AND
I am enough, I am good at this, I have many inspiring passions, I may not know yet but I am open for possibilities in my life, I am confident, I am a successful person.
Observe how you felt in these contrast of feeling. How was it? You must have felt being weak in the first one and you must have felt being strong in the second one. At this moment I want you to just observe these contrasting feelings within you. I know you can switch yourself from being weak to strong. Play with this exercise for a few seconds.
You must be thinking you are going crazy. Trust me you are not crazy and neither am I. The purpose of this exercise is to make you realize you have a choice. A choice to feel weak and a choice to feel strong. It doesn’t mean being weak is a bad thing and being strong is a good thing.
Let me repeat, It’s a choice. Your choice.
If you are a normal human being I am sure you are familiar with these voices in your head. Everyone is including me, I have doubts, I have inspirations, I have fear and I also have courage. These built-in emotions are in our very existence. Ignoring, denying or perverting it won’t solve the mystery. But neither does embracing them.
So what do we do?
If you realize it, we have a third choice, to Observe it.
But what about being absolutely honest?
Being absolute honest is scary, for me at least. It is scary because it is true. It is true and I don’t want to accept it.
But what kind of truth?
The person I show is not the real person I am. The majority of conversation we have has an intent to speak, rather than to listen. The feeling of incompetence haunts us at every new corner. The relationship I make are solely intended to quench my thirst, but what about the other? Aren’t they doing the same thing? We are inclined to sell something. What about building things together? Who takes the credit? Even if I got whatever I wanted in my life, I will keep asking for more. Where is the full stop? Will death be the only time when we finally realize what really matters? Will I ever find the answer to all my questions? Is there even an answer to my questions or will I drift with the wind in hope of finding my sail?
These may seem abstract to you so let me give some more examples.
What will be my major? How will I get a job? Will I ever be financially independent? How will I pay my bill? What’s up with my relationship? It seems to slip away from my hands. I can’t seem to be any taller. Will my family ever know how grateful I am of them? What will I do in the coming years? Will my business take off with success or will it fail? Do I look good enough? That person is happy, will I be happy? Am I enough?
If you really want to be honest at least with yourself, ask yourself about your own set of questions. Have you looked at your truths? Take a moment and articulate them.
Now let take you to the top. You have your set of truths, I have my set of truths and we have “The Truth”.
So which is the truth? I could see you happy, but you might be feeling something different. I can come up with list of reasons to portray your happiness, but you can also come up with your list of reasons. So which one is the truth?
This is the reason, why facing yourself is scary.
Because we are all hypocrites to an extent.
I am not gonna tell you if you are good enough or not good enough. I am simply here to tell you, “You & I have a choice.”. To believe it, not believe it or observe/learn it.
